I find numbers to be fascinating and more specifically than numbers I find statistics so...enlightening. You know, thought-provoking even. So I've gathered some here and these are all 100% true. When you leave this theatre and into the world you can check them and they will come back because they are true. So, I don't want to blow your mind or anything but maybe you'll hear one of these and go, "Whoa, I never thought of that!", you know? So, these are my statistics.
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Approximately 33.33% of the Jonas Brothers have diabetes.
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One in every four kids with the initials A.D.D. actually has it, and four out of four kids with the initials A.D.H.D. has an annoying, self-righteous mother who wouldn't just shut the fuck up and take her husband's last name.
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Here's a fun one. One of every fourty-four U.S. presidents can dunk. It's fucking Millard Filmoore, you racists.
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The average child of Sarah Palin has 46.2 chromosomes.
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Can't get angry at the numbers, you know what I mean?
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Here's a really interesting one. The average person has one fallopian tube.
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20% of the Jackson Five...too soon...
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The average penis length is 5-and-a-half inches, and finally, the average penis length of a man who Googles "average penis length" is 3-and-a-half inches.
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Theoretical Dick Jokes / Statistics
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| Bo Burnham |
