Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
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Who was very rarely stable
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Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
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Who could think you under the table
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David Hume could out-consume
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Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
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And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
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Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel
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There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
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'Bout the raising of the wrist
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Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed
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John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
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On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
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Plato, they say, could stick it away
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Half a crate of whiskey every day
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Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
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Hobbes was fond of his dram
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And Rene' Descartes was a drunken fart
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I drink, therefore I am
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Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
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A lovely little thinker
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But a bugger when he's pissed
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Bruces' Philosophers Song
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Monty Python |