High school party, senior year
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Boys and girls are all sippin' on beer
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I like soda, where's the soda? Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda?
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I see her from across the crowd
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I said the party is bumpin' and the music is loud
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You're really drunk and you're lookin' sad... It's like a date rape ad
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Girl, then we start to dance and
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Girl, baby this is romance
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Girl, I'm startin' to grow down below
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Shit, why did I wear sweat pants?
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Girl, you're body's like what conjunction junction
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That's a fine ass, butt (but)
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I'm like a cashew in a lollipop
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Just keep suckin' till you get to the nut
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And I said let's rob an Asian kitchen
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Or stroll down the block
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Either way girl, we're takin' a wok (..Nothing?)
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You're gonna love me the way my uncle did
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Except you're not gonna go to court for doin' it
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Be a guillotine or my girl instead
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Either way you're givin' me head
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I'm gonna love you, baby the right way
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Shorty with a body lookin' hotty when I say girl
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When I say girl
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We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
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Why's it called dry humping, if I always need a towel after?
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You spread your naked legs and I see that wound that never healed
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Even though you're yellin' for me, I can tell your lips are sealed
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We're both aware of my erection, you ask if I have protection
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I say:
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"Well no, I tried to buy them once
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I was in the convenience store
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My old babysitter walked in
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I had to hide them near the Tic-Tac's
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I was so embarrassed, I peed myself a little bit"
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Girl, girl
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Insert a euphemism
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A sexy mental prism
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Increase my pelvic rhythm
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Fill you with my syllogism
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I know your body and I know how to please you
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Don't thank me, thank Wikipedia
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Guys don't go down, well I am-
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What the fuck is that? I should have brought my diagram
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Ooh... Did you feel that? That was an educated guess
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Ooh... Did you feel that? Uh, that one was a sneeze, my bad
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High school party, senior year
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None of that happened 'cause I wasn't invited..
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High School Party (Girl)
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| Bo Burnham |
