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To think of my task is chilling.
|
To know I was carefully building the mask
|
I was wearing for two years,
|
swearing I'd tear it off.
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I've sat in the dark explaining to myself
|
that I'm straining too hard for feelings
|
I ought to find easily.
|
Called myself Jezebel. I don't believe.
|
Before I say that the vows we made
|
weigh like a stone in my heart.
|
Family is family,
|
don't let this tear us apart.
|
You lie there, an innocent baby.
|
I feel like the thief
|
who is raiding your home,
|
entering and breaking
|
and taking in every room.
|
I know your feelings are tender
|
and that inside you the embers still glow.
|
But I'm a shadow,
|
I'm only a bed of blackened coal.
|
Call myself Jezebel for wanting to leave.
|
I'm not saying I'm replacing love
|
for some other word to describe the sacred tie
|
that bound me to you.
|
I'm just saying we've mistaken one
|
for thousands of words.
|
And for that mistake,
|
I've caused you such pain
|
that I damn that word.
|
I've no more ways to hide
|
that I'm a desolate and empty,
|
hollow place inside.
|
I'm not saying I'm replacing love
|
for some other word to describe
|
the sacred tie that bound me to you.
|
I'm not saying love's a plaything.
|
No, it's a powerful word,
|
inspired by strong desire
|
to bind myself to you.
|
How I wish that we never had tried
|
to be man and his wife,
|
to weave our lives into a blindfold
|
over both our eyes.
|
|
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-----------------
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Jezebel
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10000 Maniacs |