Before YouTube I walked through life,
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And now I frolic.
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YouTube's been like a father to me,
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Except YouTube's not an alcoholic.
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Before YouTube, I was just a skinny white kid,
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That thought he was funnier and cooler then he actually was.
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And now... well, not much has changed but I have a shit-load of money.
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Cause YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas.
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If by 'people' you mean 13 year old girls,
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And by 'ideas' you mean how they love the Jonas Brothers,
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I'm just kidding, but let's be honest that's a hefty majority.
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And if you don't believe me, well, then you must be a noob.
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So welcome to YouTube.
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And you don't know what your missing, a-just try searching women kissing,
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It's YouTube, it's just what this country's been needing,
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A generation of kids who don't waste their time reading.
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Am I the only one who thinks that Lisa Nova's hot,
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And Chris Crocker's not. No...
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He's hotter.
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Most of the best YouTubers are either Asian or they're gay,
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So there's an untapped YouTube celebrity and his name is George Takei.
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And your favorite coat's got a doodoo stain,
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I pray to God that that's chocolate rain.
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And I find videos of babies laughing a bit intrusive.
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Because Barack Obama won the election because of YouTube.
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Wait, did I say YouTube, I meant the black vote.
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And I think YouTube and Fred are so cool [in Fred's voice].
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And what the buck will be back in a Jiffy Lube,
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So welcome to YouTube,
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Welcome to YouTube,
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Hey, welcome to YouTube.
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I said-a listen and linger,
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Charlie the Unicorn bit my finger.
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It's YouTube, the impact is evident,
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Miss Teen South Carolina just ran for Vice President.
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Upload a video, you got nothing to lose,
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Except all of your friends.
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And the approval of your parents.
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Hi, my name is Mary, and I'm 19 years old and I got drunk at a party and I think someone was videotaping it,
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But I don't want anyone to see it 'cause I showed half of my boob,
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(Sorry, Mary!)
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Welcome to YouTube.
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Say hello to YouTube,
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And say goodbye to your college scholarship.
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And if your video doesn't appeal to me,
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You gotta change the key-word,
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Welcome to YouTube,
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I said welcome to YouTube.
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And it'll keep on going and it'll never stop.
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No, until its privatized.
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Welcome To YouTube
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Bo Burnham |