(So I've done a lot of comedy, so let's, uh, take a little break from that...and this is just a song that, if you'll just indulge me it's, uh yeah)
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She was the perfect woman, in every single way,
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She made the sun shine brighter, and all my cares go away.
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She was the perfect woman, she was a gourmet chef,
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They say that love is blind, well it's also deaf.
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Cause Helen Keller was the perfect woman, and no one understands,
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just how talented she was with her hands...UGH.
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God made her the perfect woman, I was the finishing touch.
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She was the perfect woman cause she didn't talk so much.
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She wanted to name the kids, so I finally let her,
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it turned out horribly; Chewbacca could've done better.. RAAAAAA
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But a guess it was alright, we had a boy and a girl.
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Just me and Helen, ehhh-haaa, and Earl!
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Cause Helen Keller was my miracle worker, I was her one-man-show,
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I could walk around the house naked, and she wouldn't even know.
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Helen Keller was my perfect woman, i was her only need
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She didn't mind the zits on my ass, it gave her more to read
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It gave her more to read, it gave her more to read
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It gave her more to read, it gave her more to read
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More to read, It gave her more to read, more to read
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Helen Keller was my perfect woman, but I don't think she cared.
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I played this song for her, she just sat there and stared.
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She was still my perfect woman, I was sort of a mess,
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I asked her to marry me, she said, "UH-EE-OHHH!"
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The Perfect Woman
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Bo Burnham |