Yo, walkin' my poodles, man, it never gets old.
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With my dogs on my leash, I got bitches on the hold,
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A first-AIDS kit? That's a rhesus monkey.
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I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie.
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Get more ass than a giant donkey stable,
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Got more lines than Whitney Houston's coffee table.
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I get more head than grammar-school lice.
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I'm like a walkin' glacier, I'm so decked out with ice.
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Did you poop a virgin? 'Cause that shit is tight.
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Jack ain't black, and Barry ain't white.
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I do drugs in the bedroom, lie on your back
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Cause I got the pipe and you got the crack.
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Though I'm sexually straight, you're bound to find,
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I'm mentally gay, cause I'll blow your mind.
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The parents be snickerin', "He shouldn't have written it,"
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But I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit.
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Yo, my name is Bo, fo sho, a born Bostonian,
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Aryan librarian at the wordsmith-sonian
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The rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity,
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I gave it this little part to give it continuity.
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And the fellas say, hey, moron, pass the gin
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'Cause I'm an OXYmoron breathing OXYgen.
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Give me the bottle, I'll chug two-thirds,
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'Cause you bitches know fractions speak louder than words
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Hey, look at that, okay
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And the ladies say,
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Hey fellas, I'm keepin' it tight, and if you play your cards right, you can have me tonight.
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Should I blow you or beat you, brass or percussion?
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Oh, stop, period, end of discussion.
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My name is Bo, fo sho, a born Bostonian,
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Aryan librarian at the wordsmith-sonian.
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The rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity,
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I gave it this little part to give it continuity.
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Walking through the garden with food at my feet,
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Picked up the celery, but dropped the beet (beat).
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Oh, and then I picked it up.
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Let's end this thing right.
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Yo, we're in the hood, I'll take what you give me.
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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A smart queen's kingdom (dumb), it doesn't mix.
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A litter of literates, a bunch of Moby Dicks.
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"Get thee to a punnery," o-just to-pheelia
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Take you with a condom, "stainless-steal" ya.
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Half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits,
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Why are only crackers staying at the Ritz?
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Poverty, racism, isn't it strange,
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Only the homeless are beggin' for change?
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I shocked Sherlock
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What, son? (Watson)
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Rosa Parks didn't call "shotgun"!
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Well, here's a bit of irony
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A Ford Focus driver's got ADD.
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How'd I come to master all these things?
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Like a tampon thief, I had to pull some strings.
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-----------------
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Bo Fo Sho
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Bo Burnham |