We live in a binary reality, we do
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It's a world of black and white
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There's only two types of people in this world:
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Those who can finish lists
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What is art? You know, what is art?
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Is art something gay people do to get back at their fathers? Could be
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What is an artist?
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What makes a great artist? You know, great artists like myself
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Like the great director Michael Bay
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Like the great Irish actor Shaquille O'Neal
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We ask questions
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You know, questions nobody else dares to ask
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Questions like
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Where are all the Sour Patch Parents?
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Questions like if Mickey's a mouse, and Minnie's a mouse, and Donald's a duck, and Daisy and Goofy, if they're all animals and they can talk
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Why is Pluto just a fucking dog?
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Did they just forget to anthropomorphize him or worse, is Mickey keeping him mentally handicapped to stay a pet?
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I'm not, how does that fit in to that universe, that paradigm
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Goofy's a dog, he's talking
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This one, crawling around
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Guys, you got tight, I would never bash Disney
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Never
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Ever
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I think Disney teaches girls
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Young girls such important lessons that princess fairy tales, you know like
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Cinderella: It doesn't matter where you come from or how poor you are, you know, as long as you're incredibly hot
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Snow White: Which encourages children to
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You know, give midgets nicknames
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Sleeping Beauty: You know, which encourages, um
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Date rape, maybe not
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Maybe not that one
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I was doing a show recently on the border of, uh, Hannah Montana and South Dakota Fanning
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And after the show
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After the show, a guy came up to me
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And said, "Bo, why don't you ever tell stories on-stage about people coming up to you after the shows?"
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And I said, "'Cause they're never funny"
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I've always wanted a black girlfriend
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Not as, you know, 'cause like
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I don't know, h-how, how do I put this?
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When we 69, I can call it "yin yanging"
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Um
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It's not a, it's not racist
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Guys, it's 21st century racism
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It's racism in light of itself
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The only reason I'm saying these things
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Is because the stigmas about race are already there
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And I'm just playing off of that
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And they understand that
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So if after the show
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You see like a black guy beating me up
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He's doing it ironically, okay?
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Get your story straight
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Binary Reality
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| Bo Burnham |
