When I say "Hey!", you say "Ho!"
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Hey! (Ho!)
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Hey! (Ho!)
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That's basically how Hitler rose to power
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My ex-girlfriend, she was a bitch, but you know, they say, like, if you want to know what a girl's gonna look like, look at her mother
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You know, so I am so glad I broke up with her
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'Cause she would've been, you know... dead
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Guys, I'm a realist
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Okay? I try not to romanticize reality
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You know, like when life gives you lemons
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You probably just found lemons
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But at the same time, I don't deny the beauty in the world
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'Cause there is so much beauty because life can be so symmetrical that gives birth to this almost silent poetry
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You know, like a hermaphrodite playing the keytar
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Or a young Amish boy trying to blow out the light bulbs on his birthday cake
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Or, or a girl who's terrible at grammar saying, "Mama, you raise me good," and then being pushed down a well
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If I had a dime, oh!
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change
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I'd still say no
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Here's some racial humor for you guys
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White people are like this, "Ah"
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Black people are like this, "Uh"
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We're destined to fight forever
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Blood in the streets
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Yo momma's so fat
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Yo momma's so ugly
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Yo momma's so stupid
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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks
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Ex-Girlfriend / Racial Humor
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Bo Burnham |