All the seats at the sunday masses,
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Filled with the mass's massive asses,
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Classes pass as fast as molasses.
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Ceremonial reading glasses.
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Read a little bit of leviticus.
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All the kids are a little too little for this.
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All the parents nod in agreement -
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"i think i can vaguely see what he meant."
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It's too early in the morning glory
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To read another allegory story,
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The father, reads a little bit farther,
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Assuring the assured that they need not bother
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"when god, in verse 45, said the slaves are okay to buy,
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He meant that people, all from the start
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Each have slaves within their hearts.
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Things, that we have sold or boughten, that are forced to pick our moral cotton
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God calls us to set these free, free our hearts from slavery...
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And then as god goes on to explain the logistics of buying and selling slaves..."
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In the back, i sit and i nod to the beats that are bumpin from my ipod
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My god, they're starting to pray
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And over the music i can hear them say
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"dear god, dear lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword.
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Dear good all-seeing being, my way or the highway yahweh.
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The blue-balled anti-masturbator, the great, all-loving faggot hater,
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I'd like to thank your holy might for making me both rich and white
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And though this is your day of rest, i come to you with one request
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There's so much pain beyond this steeple,
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Wars and drugs and homeless people.
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Sadness, where there should be joy, hate and rape and soulja boy.
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A world in darkness needs your light, so i'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
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But my dog just had leg surgery if you could fix that first...
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Debra messing's fingers in a holy place, "hail mary full of grace."
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Obama, could you pass some hope to the pope
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I know a couple dude's who wanna elope
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See the pope said, "nope" so the bros can't cope.
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(the bros can grope but the bros can't cope)
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They've been in love, they've been addicted
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Who said they shouldn't? benedict did.
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Cause in the holy land of the lord he's the holy landlord and dicks are evicted.
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Cause you can be a benedict if you've been a dick under benedict but
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You can't have benedicts because there's only one pope and only one dick
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What? a dick on a pope is
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Just like a soap on a rope cause it's
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Pointless, unless in prison, throw up your bibles, christ has risen.
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Hallelujah, now it's raining men,
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Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10.
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Winos at the eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation
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Jesus wasn't the messiah, get back i'm a heretic and i'm on fire
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It was oedipus, and those holy nights
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The holy motherfucking christ.
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I'm a blasphemah post-katrina cruising the marina. on a crusade to cruise aids
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And blast FEMA
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You're too late, we're fucked we don't need ya.
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In the name of the father, son and holy ghost
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Head, shoulders, knees and toes
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Turn up your nose, strike that pose.
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HEY MACARENA
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-----------------
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Rant
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| Bo Burnham |
