Well, the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times
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Carried the story in BIG HEADLINES
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How Kansas City George was robbed that day
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When Tar Baby Billy took his bat away
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It was two men out in the top a' the ninth
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It was one a' them classic settin's
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The Goose on the mound in that Big Apple town
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And George is up there battin'
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As the crowd chants "Goose!"
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He turns it loose
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With fire and smoke and ash
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George sends it deep
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In the right field seats
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Another timely crash
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As he rounded third and he headed on home
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Was a gleam in Billy's eye
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Dick wondered "What's he up to now?
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"I know this guy's real sly."
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Billy grabbed the bat as both teams sat
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In awe upon the benches
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Says, "There ya are! That there's pine tar!
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"An' it's a whole lot more'n eighteen inches!"
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[Chorus]
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Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
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Did you cry about the game last night?
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Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
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All you wanna do is fight
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You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
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That's the way you've always been
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So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
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And rub it in your face again
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So Tim thought it through, and he asked the crew
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Then with bat in hand, he shouted
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"You're out! The home run just don't count!
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"I'm gonna have ta disallow it!"
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Well, the sky was clear and the day was hot
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But George was even hotter
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'Till Lee got wise, and said "Hey, you guys!
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"This claim ain't a-gonna hold water."
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[Chorus]
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Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
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Did you cry about the game last night?
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Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
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All you wanna do is fight
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You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
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That's the way you've always been
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So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
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And rub it in your face again
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Well, the fans was riled and suits was filed
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To create a long dee-lay
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Then Billy's team, apparently,
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Was just afraid to play
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Now the stage was set and Billy bet
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That he had the upper hand
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But Billy was fooled when the big court ruled
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"You gonna play this game, as planned!"
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[Chorus]
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Well, Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
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Did you cry about the game last night?
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Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
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All you wanna do is fight
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You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
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That's the way you've always been
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So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
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And rub it in your face again
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With affidavits (notarized)
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That George had touched 'em all
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The umpire said, "We a step ahead.
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"Gonna put an end to Billy Ball."
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"We done heard the call for Billy Ball
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"We ain't never gonna hear it again
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"Just like the cheer for Billy's Beer
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"When the Democrats was in."
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Now the game they played that summer day
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Won't be famous for the scores
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But the incidents that have happened since
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Will be remembered as TAR WARS
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[Chorus]
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Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
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Did you cry about the game last night?
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Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
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All you wanna do is fight
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You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
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That's the way you've always been
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So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
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And rub it in your face again
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-----------------
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Pine Tar Wars
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C.W. McCall |