Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile
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I've had ballanital shancroids for quite a little while
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I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
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I ache for you my darling, and I hope you'll get well soon
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My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores
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Your moenelial infetion, how I miss you more and more
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Your dobie's itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea
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At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear
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Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
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You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
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Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
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I got snail tracks in my anus when you spirochaetes met mine
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Gonococalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis
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Meningo myelitis, dipococcal cephalitis
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Epididymitis interstitial keratitis
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Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis
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My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
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As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
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My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen
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My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green
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My heart is very tender though the parts are awful raw
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You might have been infected but you never were a bore
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I'm dying from your love, my love, I'm your spirochaetal clown
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I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down
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Gonococalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis
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Meningo myelitis, dipococcal cephalitis
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Epididymitis interstitial keratitis
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Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis
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Medical Love Song
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Monty Python |