[Nate the RA:] Hey! Welcome to Mirrielees orientation.
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My name's Nate, and I'll be your RA for this year. Today,
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we'll be moving into our dorms and building community.
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So go get your keys from the main office, come back, and
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Get ready to meet your roommates... alright?
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He was the roommate from Hell!
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He was the roommate from Hell!
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[MC Lars:] Satan was my roommate, so junior year was Hell
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He lacked social skills and had a pungent smell
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When your roommate is the devil, it can be extremely whack
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Putting posters on the wall, of Trapt and Nickelback
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Until the break of dawn he'd be mutilating sheep
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"It's 4 a.m. Satan, can you please go to sleep?"
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I can't have girls over when the dorm smells like sterno
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When did room 56 become Dante's inferno?
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He likes death and destruction, I like radio and art,
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He likes holding down Christians and reading Jean Paul Sartre
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While I'm going to class studying my notes
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He's eating baby fetuses and sacrificing goats
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He tricks the freshman girls into eating apples
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Holding black masses down at the Campus Chapel
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Should have never moved in, wish I were dead
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Should have found a place off campus on Craig's List instead
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[CHORUS]
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He was the roommate from Hell. His name was Lucifer
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Someone call a priest. And bring the crucifer
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He was the roommate from Hell. Leaves his pitchfork in my bed
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I'm in a satanic panic. 'Cause he is messing with my head
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[MC Chris:] Yo, pass that giant balloon of helium over here, yo.
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[Lars:] Okay, but wait, Satan that's too much!
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[MC Chris:] Boy you need a bitch
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Not my fault we're mismatched
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You geek out over Beakman's World,
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I dig on World of WitchCraft
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You're thinking that I'm riff raff, huffing on a dishrag
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I am just a player, play Slayer then I kick back
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I know I reek of sulfur, leave the shower curtain open
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I come home drunk, make crank calls
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To Queens and then Hoboken
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But college is like Salem, all these bitches be so smokin'
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If you're thinking that I'm leaving
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Then I'm thinking that you're jokin'!
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I gotta share my bunk with this post-punk chump
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Calls this place a dump says, "You've been through all my stuff,
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I wish you'd go to Hell." I say, "Hey that's where I'm from!"
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Blasts Death Cab and Devo he's too emo to get crunk
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I was a very nice boss down in Paradise Lost
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I had very nice bling 'cause my minions mind floss
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To hell with college, this is knowledge at a very high cost
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Gotta go do some blow with that ho... Kate Moss!
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[REPEAT CHORUS]
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[MC Chris:] Lars you're causing laughter
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When you call yourself a rapper, dude,
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How many Dead Milkman albums
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Are there named after you?
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I always got beer. I always got weed. Best roommate ever.
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If you'd ever ask me!
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-----------------
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The Roommate From Hell
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MC Lars Horris |