Party at the church of Scientology!
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Let me drop some science on Scientology
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L. Ron Hubbard's weird sci-fi philosophy
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They cloud theology in top-secrecy
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Technology, mythology, and no apology
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1952 was when it all began
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Started on a bet by a frustrated man
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His books weren't selling, so L. Ron thought fast,
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He'd start a new religion and make a lot of cash
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Alien rulers, past lives, tone scales,
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Copy written texts and scary emails
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Shutting up the critics, court battles left and right
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Mysterious deaths in the middle of the night
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Personality tests, E-meters, Narconon,
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Time Square recruitment from dusk to dawn
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All this from the guy who wrote "Battlefield Earth"
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Salvation for a fee, let's see what your soul's worth
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[CHORUS]
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There's a place in Florida where you've got friends
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We'll help you transcend if you give us those ends
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(Party at the church of Scientology!)
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Don't call it a cult, you just don't understand
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Write us a check and take our hand
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(Party at the church of Scientology!)
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Actors are a target for their army of elite
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They feed their self-esteem and make them feel complete
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They mess with their minds, just look at Tom Cruise,
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jumping on the couch during Oprah's interviews
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John Travolta fights thetans in his Florida estate
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piloting his plane, Dianetics books-on-tape
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Beck counts past lives in a temple in Bel-Air,
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Katie Holmes stays home and plays pregnant solitaire
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Isaac Hayes still pays to reach that upper-level state
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But left South Park when they hated on his faith
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Sonny Bono made donations, should have bought better skis,
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Doug E. Fresh recruits haters on the mic as he MCs
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Juliette Lewis, Jason Lee, and Chaka Kahn
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Because of L. Ron all their money is gone
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Chick Corea, Kirstie Alley, and Nancy Cartwright
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Host weekly prayer circles under UFO headlines
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[CHORUS]
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Once you step into the temple, your troubles will be gone
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We'll get you back on track, everybody sing along
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(Party at the church of Scientology!)
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Don't listen to the lies, you know they're all untrue
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So why not come on down, 'cause we're waiting for you!
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(Party at the church of Scientology!)
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So that's Scientology, P-S-E-U-D-O
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R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N you've heard so now you know
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They drain your cash fast, so as long as you agree,
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You can't put a price on freedom when it's coming C.O.D.
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Okay, they ruin lives and it sounds like science fiction
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What about Noah's Ark, Jesus and the crucifiction?
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Faith is subjective, you can't say who's right or wrong,
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Though I'll probably end up missing just for writing this song
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Hey did you guys hear that the Easter Bunny's bringing Bigfoot to the meeting tonight?
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STAY AWAY!
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STAY AWAY!
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STAY AWAY FROM SCIENTOLOGY!
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STAY AWAY FROM SCIENTOLOGY!
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Scientology = WTF?
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MC Lars Horris |