I'm William the Conqueror
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My enemies stood no chance
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They call me the first English king
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Although I come from France
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1077, the Domesday book
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I gave to history
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So fat, on death my body burst
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But enough about me
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To help remember all your kings
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I've come up with this song
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A simple rhyme and ditty
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For you all to sing along!
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Oh! William!
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(Bit short, init? We need more kings. Who came next?)
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William second, cheeks were red
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Killed out hunting, so it's said
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I took over, Henry one
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That's my next eldest son
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Then King Stephen, it's true, check it!
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Hi, Henry two, killed Thomas Beckett
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Richard Lionheart? That's right!
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Always spoiling for a fight
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Oh, King John! What a disaster!
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Rule restrained by Magna Carta!
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William, William, Henry, Stephen
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Henry, Richard, John, oi!
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Time for my mate, King Henry eight
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To take up this song
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Henry three built the abbey
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Ed one hated Scots
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A red hot poker killed Ed two
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That must have hurt him lots!
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Edward third was a chivalry nerd
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Began the hundred years war
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Then Richard two was king, aged ten
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Then Henry, yes one more!
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King Henry four, plots galore
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Not least from Henry five, moi
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I killed ten score at Agincourt
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Then Henry six arrived!
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Edward four, Edward five
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Richard the third, he's bad
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'Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh
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First Tudor and my dad
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So Henry eight, I was great
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Six wives, two were beheaded
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Edward the sixth came next, but he died young
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And so my dreaded
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Daughter Mary ruled, so scary
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Then along came... me!
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I'm Liz the first, I had no kids
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So Tudors RIP!
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William, William, Henry, Stephen
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Henry, Richard, John, oi!
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Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
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Then three more Henrys join our song!
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Edward, Edward, Rich the third
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Henry, Henry, Ed again
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Mary one, good Queen Bess
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That's me! Time for more men!
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James six of Scotland next
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Is English James the first, he led
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Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first
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The one who lost his head
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No monarchy until came me,
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Charles two, I liked to party
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King Jimmy two was scary, oooh!
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Then Mary was a smarty
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She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled
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By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria
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And so from then, you were ruled by men
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Till along came me, Victoria!
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William, William, Henry, Stephen
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Henry, Richard, John, oi!
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Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
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Then three more Henrys join our song!
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Edward, Edward, Rich the third
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Henry, Henry, Ed again
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Mary one, good Queen Bess
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Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
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Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria
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Still to come, it's Queen Victoria!
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And so began the Hanover gang
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George one and George two... grim!
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Then George the third was quite absurd
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Till I replaced old him
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King George the fourth and known henceforth
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As angry, fat and cross... hang on!
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It's true you beat Napoleon
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But were mostly a dead loss... bang on!
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Old William four was a sailor... ahoy!
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It's nearly the end of the storya
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As onto the scene comes the best loved queen
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Hail to Queen Victoria!
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William, William, Henry, Stephen
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Henry, Richard, John, oi!
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Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
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Then three more Henrys join our song!
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Edward, Edward, Rich the third
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Henry, Henry, Ed again
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Mary one, good Queen Bess
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Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
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Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria
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George, George, George, George
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Will, Victoria!
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Victoria!
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(I ruled for sixty four years, you know! )
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Ed seven, George five
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Then Ed, George sixth
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Those two then reigned and how!
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And so our famous monarch song
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Is brought right up to now! Oh!
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William, William, Henry, Stephen
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Henry, Richard, John, oi!
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Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
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Then three more Henrys join our song!
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Edward, Edward, Rich the third
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Henry, Henry, Ed again
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Mary one, good Queen Bess
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Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
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Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria
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George, George, George, George
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Will, Victoria!
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Edward, George, Edward, George six
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And Queen Liz two completes the mix!
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That's all the English kings and queens
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Since William first that there have been!
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Kings And Queens (Ruthless Rulers |