[Intro]
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Sometimes I write about something, that like something I went through
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Or something my people went through
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And I felt like they needed some motivational shit
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And it usually ends up going something like this...
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[Chorus]
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My first day, without you in my life
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Things felt strange, a bit deranged
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Even so, I hope you're doin okay
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Take it slow, you just never know... ( just never know, oh!)
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Yo, you just never know... nooo (just never know, oh!)
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You just never know... nooo (just never know, oh!)
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[Verse 1]
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My systems caught in conniption, stomach in knots
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Feedin for my medicine, overcoming addiction
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The first step is quittin, nah the first steps admittin
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I got a problem, I need help, this is something I can't beat myself
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I almost felt like I can't be cured
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Rehab won't take me cuz I ain't insured
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Layin in the bath tub, shakin like a new born
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Searchin for the courage it'll take for me to move on
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I've been livin life like this way too long
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Beggin God please, bring me home
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I stopped before, three or four days
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Always end up back in the same place
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People call me a junkie, dope fiend
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How they gonna judge me, they don't even know me
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Lights off, wanna be left alone, I'm tryin to enjoy the methodone
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Put a Jimi Hendrix record on, and excuse me while I kiss the sky
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Dosed off, woke up, sick to my stomach, ran to the bathroom
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Started to vomit, the methodone wore off and the withdrawal started
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That first day was the hardest...
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[Chorus]
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[Verse 2]
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Stayed strong, endured the rough weather
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I ain't fully recovered but I'm doin much better
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I can keep my food down to shakes and calms
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They lowerin the doses of methodone
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I eat V's and blow lots of dro
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It's like chewin gum when you're tryin not to smoke
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Keep my mind occupied, calm my nerves
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It's not the same high, deep inside I...
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Just want one more but I can't turn back this week for it
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But I done made it, almost a month
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With just a couple of V's and I blew some blunts
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But that weed and gonna make me OD
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That other shit was gonna kill me
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Six weeks, and everything seem so clear
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Before I knew it, time flew and I was clean for a year
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Can't believe something started off socially
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Something I almost allowed to take over me
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Days went by and it was sixteen months
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And I swear to God I didn't fall off once
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I, feel like a brand new guy and I'm definetly livin a brand new life
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Some days I still resist the thirst but none's worst than the first (believe
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that)
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[Chorus]
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[Verse 3]
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Two years and I ain't touched it
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Got a lot done, I been so productive
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Rebuilt, I was so constructive
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Can't believe I was so self destructive
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Got a good job and I make big bucks
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Went to the lot and got a new pick up
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Got a brand new crib and a brand new kid
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I think anybody can quit if I did
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If you wanna quit, get up and go get the shit
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Walk straight to the toilet, drop it, flush it, fuck it, fight it
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Just resist it and if this helps then just keep listenin
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When you start slippin I'll send you another one
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Sonny, wasup?, we just saved another one
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I know it's so hard like there's no God
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But through him you're able to go so far
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Hey, I don't wanna sound corny
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I'm just like you either hungry or horny
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Seems as though we get hooked so easily
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Quitting becomes an impossibility
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I ain't sayin treat your body like a church
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Just don't let dope put your body in a hearse
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The streets inside you, you just gotta search
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And know that no day be harder than the first
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[Chorus]
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[Outro]
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Yo, all my people, goin through they thing
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Whatever they thing may be
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Just know, God got his hands on you
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And he'll grant you the serenity
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To change the things you can't
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And you can change that, aight
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Hold me down and I'ma hold you down... one
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-----------------
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My First Day
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Haystak |