|Well I met this guy sometime last May
|I heard he was hung and a machine gun lay
|But I musta been drunk, I musta been busy
|Musta been watchin' tapes of old MacGuyver or Richard Bey
|IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO THIS MATRIMONY
|YOU BETTER BAG THE BAD TUX AND JUST RIDE MY PONY
|AND ALL YOU BAD FUCKS OUT THERE DON'T YOU TRY TO BONE ME
|I ONLY WANTED A PIECE OF THAT FRIED BALONEY-ONEY
|FIRST I DID SOME JUMPING JACKS AND I SAW IT IN HIS PANTS
|HE SAID "DAMN I LIKE YOUR RACK--I MEAN, YOU CAN REALLY DANCE!!!!"
|BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE RUNNING MAN I THOUGHT THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING SOFT
|THEN HE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SAID "HEY! THE WEDDING'S OFF!!!"
|And so that guy I had just met last May
|He saw my cameltoe then canceled his wedding day
|In a leotard made of the finest gold lame
|At his bachelor party guess who popped right outta the cake?
|Stop The Wedding