Ah yo Santa let's get something clear
|
I'm half Jewish I shouldn't even be talkin about this time of year
|
But I'm near tears tryin to fund my record label career
|
While everyone drinks beer like they at Cheers
|
Makin Nintendo bets
|
on debts from bad rekkid deals for real I'm probably next
|
I'm here sweatin my ass off, it's July
|
But by the time this comes out I'll be behind my release schedule and
|
Mariah Christmas will be sellin' out- why?
|
I never did nothin bad to nobody
|
I'm still friends with all my Ex's who stole money (Aw honey)
|
Don't aw honey me Just give me the money please
|
One of those cards with a pocket for cash
|
A big stash or check to cash I'll snatch it before you realize you acted rash and come at me all mad
|
I've been good, well pretty good, at least in my mind
|
Please let me sell a lot of records at Christmastime
|
|
CHORUS: Lalala La La La La
|
There's one Christmas Star
|
Princess Superstar!
|
Ho Ho Ho!
|
Who you callin' a Ho?
|
|
Look, I'm too poor to afford life size cut out cardboard of me poured into a size 4
|
With a floppy Santa hat on the record store floor
|
Want ace product placement listenin station so while I'm on vacation
|
I got my face on Raisin Brans round the nation
|
I'm impatient need my wax to sell by the cases
|
Like Mase's in God's good graces I'll be gracious
|
Just let me retire with his wages
|
I'm not aimless I wanna be A-list
|
Hang out with someone famous, then my friends and I would all have someone to date us
|
Like Tom Hanks, Billy Blanks, Shabba Ranks or any of the Franks-
|
Stallone, Purdue, Avalon, or Delanor Roo
|
Bill Gates too-(Ew) It's true, all I gotta do is sell through
|
Go on tour then put out a live record real quick like Frampton or Badu
|
I got a cold, it's gonna be Xmas soon and I'm getting old
|
Hi Tower? Hi it's me again, how many units we sold?
|
You mean we didn't go platinum or like gold?
|
(Beep beep) Oh-that's my Rolls-
|
Yo wait I'm on a payphone please don't even try to put me on hold!!
|
|
CHORUS
|
|
Ok you're all listening to my song that's a good sign
|
So either you bought it, it's on the radio or your friend is sayin ha ha listen to this funny song
|
That's fine
|
|
But if that's the case don't even think about the blank tape
|
Take a date with your lazy ass go to Virgin or Other Music they close late
|
And in case you don't make it visit my website blah blah dot com
|
See old sexy pictures of me, order my record and buy the clean version for your mom
|
Santa, just one hit, one seasonal favorite-
|
One tear jerker piece of commercial shit for the ages or just enough to get an agent
|
Watch how fast I'd sell out, get the cash get the hell out
|
Be on VH-1 Where are They Now Eatin' filet mignons by the pound
|
Round baby, Fat and gettin' down baby
|
No need to fit in fancy clothes now
|
Hey get the Camera crews off my grounds!
|
|
Call me flash in the pan, the blonde chick who thought she could rhyme
|
Please, just let me sell a lot of records at Christmastime!
|
|
-----------------
|
I Hope I Sell a Lot of Records at Christmastime (Single Version)
|
Princess Superstar |