Using the following, I'm going to show you:
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A) How to con someone using their own greed,
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B) That you won't feel bad 'cos they're trying to con you anyway, and
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C) TAKING THEIR MONEY!
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As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people's confidence.
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This scam only works 'cos that man thinks he's working this scam
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And that you man off his mark
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Get your mate, let's call your mate Piers
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No, not Piers, let's call him Farquhar
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Anyway get Farquhar to crawl into a bar with his dog
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Like I said, the barman will try and con you later
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but you're gonna take all his money.
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Anyway, get Farquhar to pass into a local bar
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And call to the bar to look after a dog for a dart
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Just for 20 quid for a while, claiming that he hated it
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But it was worth more than his car
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This, by the way, requires that you find and supply Farquhar
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With an animal, and a life, from your local park.
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Get a nice dog that doesn't bark
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But not so nice that someone might miss this mutt from the park
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Anyway, using this technique you're gonna take all this man's money
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But you're not gonna care, cos he's gonna fucking deserve it
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[Chorus]
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You'll never con an Honest John
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An Honest John you can't drag down (Exactly!)
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Con-do-lee get conned
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When they think they're the cunning one (It's all one big con)
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Neighbour you won't con
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An Honest John
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Now listen, get Farquhar to dart out the bar
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And just shop for some garm's, maybe
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Just to pass an hour or so
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I would go shopping cos' I gave up drinking
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But whatever, just have Farquhar down the road
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Now you walk in the bar, walk up to the barman
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Order a jar, when you've caught him slouched on his own
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Start eyeing the dog that he's minding by his side
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Currently vibe him and start on about the dog you own.
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Start asking the barman, if it's his fine specimen of a dog
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Nod, smile, agree, look interested and cool
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When he tells you it's someone else's you've just left previous
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Tell him, 'This is a very rare breed of animal.'
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Last time I lied my manager swiped me
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But lie, and tell him it's like a fucking Red-Eared Hunting Spaniel.
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Tell him it's worth 600 quid and you would pay handsomely if you were to accept finance at all
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[Chorus]
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You'll never con an Honest John (Sometimes...)
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An Honest John you can't drag down (...Sometimes I think I should just go completely...)
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Condolee get conned
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When they think they're the cunning one
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Neighbour you won't con an Honest John (Keep listening though, it's important that you keep listening...)
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Now take all his shopping off him
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Get your mate Farquhar to pop in
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Looking straight gutted a bit later on
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He should order a jar, talk at the bar
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Ensure he looks calm, warm with the barman
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And generally start conversating on.
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Farquhar should start falling apart
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About how he's arsed up some chance
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And how arsed up his day was.
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Or in the event, the spread betting he's getting ready to accept
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That his rent's not getting payed up.
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The barmans mind will chime slowly for a while
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He might wipe the bar, as his mind is making sums.
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Farquhar should continue to moan about money
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And that this mutt is not the greatest of his worries.
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And like 'ching!', the barman will five out of six times
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Kindly offer his greed to buy the dog for a price of 300 quid
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And after some bartering, your barman will haggle and charge harder
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In greed of the scent of the scheme in his head. (That's right, neighbour!)
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You'll never con an Honest John
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An Honest John you can't drag down
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Condolee get conned
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When they think they're the cunning one
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(The barman, is gonna see how much he can stitch you up for.)
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Neighbour you won't con an Honest John
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(How does that work? Cos' everytime it's based around someone who thinks they're conning you.)
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They'll never imagine the whole scenario is prepared solely for him
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Why should he?
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That sort of paranoia can get you in the loony bin!
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As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people's confidence.
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AND THAN TAKING THEIR MONEY!
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It's all one big con.
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Can't Con An Honest |