{*a parody of Fat Joe's song "My Lifestyle"*}
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[Tom Rockwell]
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Uhh.. yeah.. Jersey baby!
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Welcome to Jersey, ya heard?
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Yeah, uh!
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Can't even pump your own gas here!
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Yo.. yeah, yeah, yo
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[Verse One: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
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I live alone in the armpit, of the nation
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In the state with the densest population
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The Garden State, where the gardener wrecks it
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I tell people where I live by the exit
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Joisey, where hygene's secondary
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If the locals ever saw a real book they'd commit Hari Kari
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Neon glow car, chain around the license plate
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Two inches off of the ground, it's like a rollerskate
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Me and my neighbors play a game whenever we're at
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Baskin Robbins, seein who can count the most flavors
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Aiyyo, if you're lookin for class you're outta luck
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The state symbol is Calvin, urinating on a Ford truck
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Muscle shirts are considered formal attire
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My neighbor's hobby is to sit for hours watchin the drier
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And at the strip club, is the Bride of Frankenstein
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With a back so hairy that it's a crime
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Before you visit that park you best be insured
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Everyone I know has come back severely injured
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Don't look at me cause it's out of my control
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People disappear for years in our massive pot holes, whoa!
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[Chorus - repeat 2X]
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Y'all wanna live my lifestyle
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Never had a job, never seen a dentist
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Wanna hang with the boys, go to Wal*Mart
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Visit me and I'ma show you inbred
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[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
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At least half the state, has major brain damage
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You can get the same replies talkin to a ham sandwich
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My next door neighbor, only bathes on a Friday
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But every single day he uses soap to wash his driveway
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That's why the first week in July as we speak
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Is "National Be Nice to New Jersey Week"
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God help you if you wanna turn left, you'd have to be deft
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Usually you have to make three rights to go left
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And get this, if you take the folks on my street
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and add 'em up, maybe you could get a full set of teeth
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You wouldn't believe, but one of 'em forgot how to breathe
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So much hair in their nose you could make your own weave
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It's a last resort, where chickens can be child support
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And driving is a contact sport
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It's where malls are considered a shrine
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I've lived here for three years, I'm fittin in just fine
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It's a place where kids play the game Name Those Scents
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Where all the garbage gets recycled into lawn ornaments
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Yeah all the freaks in my town all belong in the pound
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Even Smokey the Bear said go 'head, burn it down, go on!
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[Chorus]
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New Jersey Lifestyle
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| Sudden Death |
