Hello patient 24602
|
Hey what's up?
|
How are you feeling?
|
I'm alright
|
Has the treatment been working?
|
No, not really
|
What are your remaining symptoms?
|
I internalize my feelings. I have trouble articulating my feelings to other people
|
So basically your still a little bitch
|
Real mature of you disembodied voice
|
I was just joking niggah
|
Your creativity and analysis are at war and most simply, your left and right brain are at war
|
To fix the problem we must separate them from each other
|
Splitting your neurological functions in
|
5... 4... 3... 2... 1
|
This may hurt a bit, 0
|
Isolation complete
|
This is Bos left brain, objective, logical, cold, analytical
|
Aware of patterns aware of trends he's efficient, and a prick
|
This is Bos right brain subjective, creative, sensory
|
Aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot
|
Okay boys play nice
|
|
I am the left brain, I am the left brain
|
I work really hard until my inevitable death brain
|
You got a job you better do it right in the right way with the left brains might
|
|
I like oreos and pussy yah! (in that order)
|
And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3
|
Cause I am the right brain, I have feelings,
|
I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful and trustful and
|
I'm looking for somebody to love... Or put my penis in
|
|
Here comes a female, here comes a female
|
Puff your chest up take your phone out and check your email
|
Or evolutionary purpose is to repopulate
|
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate
|
|
Holy fuck I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe
|
Tits
|
I am the earth, she is the glorious sun
|
I want her to trust me and I want her to sit on my fucking face!
|
Alright now right brain you're being insane
|
No left brain, I'm just being alive
|
You should try it, you might like it
|
|
I worked hard to give him everything he cared about
|
You were worried about the things he was scared about
|
I'm calm and collective when you act wild
|
I am the adult you are child
|
|
You think you're the right one every time
|
You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all
|
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine
|
But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy because he's sure not
|
|
Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry just let me run this again, you're a giant pussy
|
|
Really name calling? Really name calling?
|
|
I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts alright, the fact is you're a gigantic pussy
|
|
I'm the pussy? Really? Well at least I don't play with toys still
|
|
Rubix cubes are not toys alright, they keep my spacial rethink skills... sharp
|
|
Left brain plays with toys! Haha, fucking, toy player
|
|
Well at least I did my fucking job, I kept him working, I kept him productive
|
You were supposed to look after him
|
You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this
|
Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!
|
If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him
|
You did this to him, he hates you I know he does, he fucking hates you!
|
|
Right brain I'm sorry, okay?
|
|
No you're not
|
|
Look, maybe there's something we can do together
|
|
Together?
|
|
Take the best parts of both of us and put them together
|
|
It would let you let your feelings out, It would let me analyze
|
|
It's something that George Carlin did, It's something Steve Martin did
|
It's something special we can both perform, do you know what it is?
|
|
Juggling, we could juggle, and just juggle our cares away!
|
|
It was comedy, you, fuck it, we could do comedy
|
|
-----------------
|
Left Brain, Right Brain
|
Bo Burnham |